To be honest Sooty was.a bit perplexed with this whole regatta thing. The crew seemed to delight in getting up unreasonably early, getting beaten up with winches, ropes, clutches and other boat bits, getting dehydrated and sunburned, yelling and screaming at each other, and all to get back to where they already were as quickly as they thought possible. Sooty, being smarter than the average bear, had already figured out it would be better to just not leave – then you’d beat the rest of the dumb sailors to the bar – which as far as he could tell was the purpose of the exercise. Sooty headed out to the last party on the pull – decked out in spandex (which to my eyes was a bit unflattering) and wearing a T shirt with “want me to forrage in your undergrowth” (subtle I thought) and armed only with borrowed heineken tokens and a packet of regatta condoms. Sooty was soon surrounded by a frisky grisly, a smooth panda, a cool polar, and a jumped up koala. A regular (heineken) bear festival. Did sooty score? What goes on tour, stays on tour. Note to skipper – need more boat condoms for next regatta. Pete Ramsdale pete@sadiiqi.com +1 (441) 504-PETE (7383)

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